508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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