Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
