The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
