So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
