we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
