i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
