Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
