You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
