I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize