would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
