i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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