Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
