I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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