You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
