Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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