I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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