Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
