Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
