wanna go halves on a baby?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
