im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So much rum. So many feels.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
