Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
