I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
