sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
