"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
