I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
