Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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