he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
