We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
