Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
