Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
