I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
