Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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