Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
