she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
