hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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