I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
