dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
