It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
