He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hippo gnu deer
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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