Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
