Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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