Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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