Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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