It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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