8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
