I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize