You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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