im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
