no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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