exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
