you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i think i just lost a toe
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
