Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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