I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize