Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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