I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
