Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
