It's Friday. Sex?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
