so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize