dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
