I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize